It is unfortunate, but divorce is common, and it is a process that can take its toll on all parties and significantly alter lives. This is particularly true if you have children and it is for this reason why you must handle the process carefully and put their interests first. Divorce will always be complicated, stressful and emotional and no two are ever the same. There are a few tips for separating parents which should make the process slightly smoother and ensure that the children are in a good position to go on and find happiness in their life with the love and support of both parents.
Concerns with Your Children
- 1. Agree to be civil in front of the children and keep arguments hidden.
- 2. Break the news gently together and try to remove negative emotions from the conversation.
- 3. You should also be honest with your children and answer any questions that they have truthfully.
- 4. Do not discuss legal matters in front of the children or allow them to overhear these matters.
- 5. You should also avoid speaking negatively about your spouse in front of your children to try to get them on your side.
- 6. Avoid disruptions to their daily routine and allow them to continue socialising with friends.
- 7. Tell them that it is not their fault and that you will both continue to love them no matter what.
- 8. Look after your own mental and physical health, as it can be hard to for children to see their parents struggling.
- 9. If you are struggling to contain your emotions in front of the kids, then it could be helpful to speak to a counsellor.
- 10. Listen to their concerns and legitimise their feelings. If they are struggling, it could be worth finding a counsellor for them to speak to.
- 11. It is important that they are vocal during the process and let their feelings be heard.
- 12. Prepare your kids for upcoming changes in their life. There are likely to be significant changes to aspects like their living arrangements, and it is vital that they are well prepared for this.
- 13. Try to set up a co-parenting relationship once you have separated.
Consider your options
- 14. Make sure that a divorce is the right course of action to take. There may be issues that you are able to work out with the help of counselling or couple’s therapy.
- 15. Find a reputable law firm that specialises in divorce, like Justice Family Lawyers. They will have expertise in handling complex matters like child custody to ensure that a favourable outcome is found that has the children’s best interests in mind.
- Lean on your support network for help. This could be helping out with the kids or simply having someone to vent your emotions to.
- 17. Separate the legalities from the emotional side of the divorce. These are two very separate but important areas that need to be worked through separately. Avoid building your new life until the divorce is final. It needs all of your attention and it does not always end up as you originally thought.
Hopefully these tips will make the divorce process easier for the whole family and help you to build a solid support system for your children going forward.