Celebrities, with their entourage of stylists to dress them from head to toe, aren’t supposed to make jewellery booboos.
Well, this list of red carpet blunders shows that celebrities are human too! Isn’t it nice to know they can blunder as much as we ordinary gals when deciding what goes with what, and what definitely doesn’t.
The best thing is we can learn from their mistakes (well, the best thing is actually having a giggle, but hey, this is supposed to be an instructive guide, so keep the giggles to a minimum.)
So here we go…
Fail No 1: Diamonds are not always a girl’s best friend
Ever heard of the saying – You can have too much of a good thing. We all know that! But sometimes the show-off in us just can’t help herself. Oops. Result – tacky overkill. A single nice two-karat diamond will always do the trick. Unless of course you’re auditioning for “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” Pretty sure that isn’t the case with Drew Barrymore, so she can’t use that as an excuse for her jewellery fail – that’s both her offending hand pictured below. I wonder if she’s got bells on her toes too…
Fail No 2: Too much bling is not a Thing (well, it is, but it’s a bad Thing)
I was blown away to hear Rachel Zoe, stylist to the stars, say that when in doubt, don’t take jewellery off, put another piece on! Whoa, maybe we can hold her responsible for some of the biggest jewellery fails in this article. Gals, take it off. Honestly. You don’t want to start looking like a celebrity wrestler or mafia gangster. Keep it stylish. The rule is: one feature piece only. If you are determined to wear other pieces, keep them simple or subtle. Or you’ll end up looking like…well, like Rachel Zoe pictured below…or Whoopee Goldberg.
Whoopee has definitely perfected the “Today I am a Christmas Tree” look and really, did she need to add another bauble to her ears? I would say not. But yeah, once on a Christmas tree high it’s just never enough – more, more, more. Look, I’m not saying that removing those Xmas baubles on her ears would have helped that much, given the outfit, but hey, every little bit helps. When in doubt – take it off.
Fail No 3: The place for dinner plates is on the table, not on your ears
Remember what I said about wearing only one big statement jewellery piece – whether it’s a diamond pendant, a stunning boho choker, an elegant gemstone necklace, a pair of gorgeous turquoise and silver tribal earrings, or whatever your fave piece is.
You’ve got to simplify everything else you’re wearing and let that piece do that talking for you. Nobody wants to look like a Christmas Tree. Or wait – maybe they do? (See Whoopi in Fail No 2).
But please, don’t do it to yourself.
And when you choose your statement jewellery piece, honestly girl, stay away from dinner plates on your ears. (Unless you’ve got really, really bad ears – in which case you’re forgiven.)
Dinner plates on your ears really won’t do anything for your features or your style reputation. Nor will they cover up a major makeup blunder. Sorry Amy Winehouse, we can see right past those mutilated gold slabs on your ears to your major eyeliner mishap. Maybe next time try sunglasses.
Another dinner-plater who really should have known better is the normally immaculate Beyonce – dripping with a gorgeous feature black choker necklace, the last thing she needed was those black saucers wobbling uncertainly on her lobes.
Fail No 4: Huge gold chains look great…on celebrity wrestlers
This fashion rule should be obvious – but apparently not to everyone! You can get away with a single big gold chain – maybe – if the rest of you is dressed with minimalist simplicity. And no, a diamond headband does not count as minimalist. Because add one extra teeny weeny thing to that huge gold chain, and girl, you’re ready for the wrestling ring. Personally, I’d stay away from chains large or small. The small ones are so invisible you may as well do without and just feature your gorgeous neck naked of embellishment. The big chains are dangerous in more ways than one. They can look fabulous – but only if you know what you’re doing and keeping every other item sleek, streamlined and simple. Remember, you want to look Hollywood, not Bollywood.
Fail No 5: Excuse me, madam…but you’re wearing your brooch on your belly button
Brooches can look absolutely gorgeous on a tailored jacket, furry coat or sleek wrap dress. But honey, placement is everything. Do not brooch your nipple, pubic region or belly button. Just don’t. Really. Do I really need to explain why? Maybe I’ll just show you. Voila! Hello Jennifer Lopez…is that a brooch on your pubes or is that some insanely weird chastity belt you’re wearing…
Fail No 6: Denim and diamontes have never been a Thing and never will be
Listen guys, jeans are just fab. You can wear them with almost any jewellery…if you choose wisely. My personal fave is denim teamed with boho jewellery. Boho is currently undergoing a major revival and all the designers are using it with denim. Boho jewellery now comes in a minimalist city girl look, or the traditional boho festival look updated to look awesome with denim. Tribal boho necklaces or the It Girl version, metro boho, a cool urban boho look, is just made for jeans and is available as earrings, chokers, necklaces or bracelets. Denim also looks brilliant with stacked boho bracelets. Team it with a white t-shirt or a tailored jacket – it’s a look which never fails. Now that’s the ‘do it with denim’ advice. And here, presented for your amusement, is the never do it with denim look. Ah, Britney and Justin, what terrible notion ever made you pair denim with pieces obviously nicked from Queen Elizabeth’s Crown Jewels collection…
Fail No 7: Don’t wear jewellery (or anything else) back-to-front
Why do people do this? Is it some weird revolutionary statement or plain old ‘forgot to look in the mirror’ syndrome? I’ll admit I did it once. I was half asleep, dragged on a top and accidentally wore it back to front. Needless to say I ended up walking around looking like a camel until a friend kindly pointed out my error. But apparently, some people commit this offence deliberately, particularly with necklaces.
Look, I’m not blaming Jane Fonda. She’s 80 years old, and really one of her hoard of so-called stylists should have pointed out she’d put her necklace on the wrong way. Girls can be sooo mean. Anyhow, whether deliberate or not, just don’t do it. Everything has a front and a back and this one time rules are not meant to be broken. And listen, if anyone tells you you should wear a necklace backwards, just don’t. Really. People will be laughing behind your back. And at your back too!
Fail No 8: Big Boho booboos – tribal warfare
Okay, I know I said earlier that the new metro boho can be worn with pretty much anything, but there are certain limitations. I mean, if you’re dressed like you’re about to conduct a Sunday school class and your hair style belongs in a 1950s sitcom, it’s just not going to work. Probably no jewellery style is going to work, except a modest string of pearls. Think Queen Elizabeth – always in pearls, right? Can you imagine her in boho or any other jewellery style? Nope. Never. Don’t do it. If your fashion icon is the Her Majesty the Major Royal then I truly recommend you stick to the pearls. HRH has excellent taste. She knows her limitations, and so should you.
So what happened Meryl? What insanity made you string all those ethnic beads and tribal boho beads around your school ma’am neck? I mean, I know that boho is really popular, but still…pearls would have looked so perfect with your hair and outfit!
Fail No 9: Sure, take your knitting with you, just don’t wear it around your neck
Why? Why? Why? I can understand the appeal of knitting, sewing and crocheting. I know you’re proud of the things you create with your own hands. So wear a jumper you’ve knitted. A nice scarf – just lovely. But it appears that some people are so proud of their craftwork that nothing will do except to wear it as jewellery. You don’t believe me? Check this out.
I’ve saved the best for last – and it’s all about keeping your jewellery in proportion. This is so important dear reader – balance is everything. Knowing your proportions is important. Knowing what flatters you is vital. Experiment in front of a mirror. Scan the magazines for fashionistas with your body type and learn from what works for them. Trial and error. Haunt jewellery shops and try on dozens on pieces – take a trusted friend and don’t fall for any sales pitch. Follow your gut-feeling – it will rarely lead you astray.
Fail No 10: Always keep things in proportion
It doesn’t mean that small girls should wear small jewellery. Just don’t wear anything that obviously overwhelms your proportions and only looks good on a six foot Victoria’s Secrets model. Nor do big girls have to stay away from small jewellery pieces. Just be aware you don’t want to look like you’ve pinched your little sister’s pieces. In my view, big girls look just fab in big statement pieces. You’re lucky! You can get anyway with pieces that would overwhelm a smaller girl. But ultimately it’s all about getting the proportions right. Trigger warning: the picture below may send you into gales of hysterical laughter/shock. I promise – it has not been altered or tampered with in any way. This really happened on the red carpet. Treat it as a warning.
So now you’re a lot wiser about the do’s and dont’s of jewellery. I hope I’ve left you with lots to think about, and a few things to laugh about too. It is really heartening to see that celebrities can make the same mistakes we all do, and we can certainly learn a lot from the divas of the red carpet, good and bad!
Article provided by “Her Lovely Bones”