Johnny Carter is the founder of Lifestyle Advantage, an intuitive business and life coaching consultancy based on the ‘Law of Attraction’. He firmly believes that it is your subconscious mind that holds the key. The Law of Attraction is the belief that ‘like attracts like’ and that by focusing on positive thoughts, we can bring about positive results. By understanding and following this simple rule, you will be empowered to attract a lifelong partner. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have when you know how to activate and use this unlimited power that lies within you. Here are Johnny Carter’s 17 Bright Ideas to Finding Your Soul Mate this Valentine’s Day:
Be positively clear about what you want in a mate – Each “failed” relationship has given you clues about what you want in your ideal partner. The problem is many women and men focus on the negative instead of the positve. For example, by saying that you don’t want a man/woman who “puts his/her work before the relationship” you are focusing on a man/woman who puts work before love and that is the desire you are unconsciously sending out through your energy. The good news is if you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want. Your power to create lies in your ability to choose thoughts that are positively clear, so that you can tell the universe exactly what you desire. (“I want a man/woman who puts me first and loves me unconditionally.”) You can tell if your affirmation is positive or negative by the way it makes you feel. If it makes you feel great, it is positive. If it makes you feel bad, it is negative. It’s that simple! If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, simply turn them around and start focusing on the positive. You will immediately feel better and you will be in alignment with love.
Continue to dream it – If you are ready for love, one of the best things you can do is get lost in day dreaming about your perfect mate. As you imagine your ideal partner, the universe receives these images as indicators of what to create in your life. In your imagination, you can create and improve on your desired relationship it until it meets your highest ideal. Once you have that ideal image in your mind, replay it over and over until one day soon you will find yourself actually living it. The power of your imagination is unstoppable and can transform your love life.
Fall in love with yourself – You can’t expect someone else to fall in love with you if you are not in love with yourself. When we judge or criticise ourselves, we send out an energy that repels others. Self-criticism is a negative energy that will repel potential mates. On the other hand, self-love is attractive and attracts potential mates. Make a list of ten characteristics you love about yourself and put this list where you can see it every day. It doesn’t really matter what is on the list as long as it easily generates good feelings that you have toward yourself. The more you focus on what you love about yourself, the more self-love you will experience. Others will fall in love with you too, simply because it feels great to be around people who love themselves.
Say “no” to jealousy – It’s natural to feel jealous when we see someone experiencing something we desire and don’t have, but jealousy will actually keep love from coming to you. Jealousy is a negative emotion and will repel what you desire. Instead of feeling jealous, understand if you are seeing someone else living your dream, your dream is getting closer. So instead of being jealous, celebrate the love you see and bless all the loving relationships you witness. In this way, you are telling the universe to bring you some of that! (And it will!)
Don’t give up – The number one reason the ‘Law of Attraction’ doesn’t appear to work is that people give up before their wish is granted. It’s like ordering a delicious meal and walking out of the restaurant before your order arrives. The order is on its way, but if you are no longer in alignment with it, you will miss out. When it comes to love, people get disappointed when their dates don’t meet their expectations and they don’t see evidence that true love is coming. Out of disappointment or fear of being disappointed, they give up — never knowing what they missed. The key to the ‘Law of Attraction’ is that once you are clear you desire something specific, you must commit to it for as long as it takes to manifest in your life.
Don’t give in to doubt – We live in an obliging universe where it is possible to experience all our dreams and desires. One of the biggest obstacles in manifesting what we desire is doubt. We want something, but we doubt that it’s possible. It is actually the doubt that keeps it from coming. Knowing is a positive energy and opens the door for attraction. Doubt is a negative energy and closes that same door. When you are in alignment with attracting your perfect mate, there is a sense of knowing he is on his way.
Enjoy yourself now – Don’t wait for love to find you in order to start living. You will attract what you are: if you are a couch potato, you will attract a coach potato. If you desire a mate who is active, goes swimming and likes to read, you better start jogging by the beach and getting to bookshops. Don’t wait for him/her to arrive in order to live your best life. Start living your best life right now and you will become super attractive so that special person will be able to spot you in a crowd — because you shine.
Become the future you – There is a current ‘single you’ and a future partnered or married you. One of the best ways to use the ‘Law of Attraction’ to attract your perfect guy/girl is to become the person who is already in the relationship. This is how it works: think of yourself now and think of yourself in your perfect relationship. How are you different? Who do you become once you are in the relationship? Maybe your answer is, “I become relaxed, confident, loving and kind.” Your answer is your clue to who you must become. Don’t wait for the relationship to manifest, you must first become the person who already has these qualities. This includes preparing your space for the partner of your dreams: Clean out your closet, empty a draw or replace that worn-out wallpaper. Think of all the ways in which you can prepare yourself and your life to be in perfect alignment with your perfect mate.
Get your beliefs in order – Examine your beliefs about love and clean up any beliefs that don’t support attracting, having and keeping your perfect relationship (“I’m not attractive enough” … “I don’t make enough money” … “All the good ones are taken”). The universe has a way of making your beliefs true, so if a belief doesn’t support what you really want, it is time to drop it and develop beliefs that do. The universe responds to your feelings about yourself; if you are feeling unworthy or undeserving, the universe reflects this back.
Believe it will happen – This wonderful universe of ours is set up to deliver the people and things to us that are consistent with our beliefs. If you don’t believe you will ever find ‘the one,’ then guess what, you probably won’t. So, believing and knowing that your soul mate is out there is the most important part of the formula. If you learn to believe that ‘the one’ is not only out there but is ALSO LOOKING FOR YOU, then true love can be yours.
Treat and be kind to yourself – Know that you are lovable. Find ways each day to nourish yourself with love, appreciation, positive thoughts, and tenderness. Begin to care for yourself as if you are the most important person in the world. You deserve your own love and affection. Oscar Wilde said it best, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
Heal your heart – Past hurts will prevent you from magnetising big love. You may not realise it, but resenting people or being unwilling to forgive them actually binds you to them. Make a list of the ex- lovers with whom you are still harboring grudges or resentment. Write each one a detailed letter expressing your upset. Give yourself permission to go full out, as you will never mail these letters. Then, write a second letter from your ex-love’s point of view. Then read all of the letters out loud to yourself with the intention of allowing any remaining animosity to dissipate. When we heal the scars of our past, we open the door to a more fulfilling future.
Be the loving person you are – Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life. The universe is always mirroring back to us. The more loving you feel, the more you become magnetically attractive to love.
Live your soul mate truth every day – Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship. Big love is possible for anyone of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love. To do this, begin “living as if,” which means your actions follow your beliefs. For instance, you might buy birthday or “I Love You Just because” greeting cards that you will give them someday. Or, you will get tickets to concerts or plays you will attend with them. And if you are really in the “knowingness,” you will begin talking to them (in your imagination) every day!
Listen to your intuition and take action – It’s important to be on the lookout for synchronistic signs from the universe or inspiring invitations that come out of the blue, which may lead you to your soul mate. Take action when these kinds of opportunities present themselves. Taking action may also mean joining an online dating service, enrolling in a scuba diving course, or simply sharing with trusted friends your desire to meet the love of your life.
Savor the waiting – For those who are running out of patience, please remember: you can choose to allow yourself to feel desperate and alone, or you can choose to feel happy and blessed. One way to adopt the “happy and blessed” mindset is to understand the ancient Japanese aesthetic known as wabi sabi, which honors all things old, worn, weathered, imperfect, and impermanent. In fact, it seeks to find “beauty and perfection in the imperfections.” Rather than “enduring” the wait—and the perceived imperfection of being single—you can adopt a wabi sabi perspective and really enjoy your last days of being single. You can relish the journey and joyfully anticipate your soul mate’s arrival. One of the best ways to “savor the waiting” is to take yourself on “special dates,” doing things that most nourish and nurture YOU!
Don’t question how it will happen. Your job is to clearly and positively define what you most desire and to get in alignment with your desire through all the ways described above. Your job is not the how. Don’t get caught up on how it’s going to happen. We live in a magical universe that can bring you exactly what you desire in the most amazing and even unbelievable ways. Getting caught up in the how can actually impede the ‘Law of Attraction.’ If you are trying to control the how, you are likely getting in the way and making it more difficult than it has to be. Instead, let go of any ideas about how it has to happen and allow the universe to do its magic. This doesn’t mean you sit home and do nothing. The difference is that you await inspired action. Inspired action is that sudden feeling you should go the coffee shop even if you are not thirsty or you should get petrol on the other side of the street. The ‘Law of Attraction’ communicates to you through your intuition so make sure you are listening and following those gut feelings. Most of all, be open to all possibilities — you never know how the universe will deliver.
- Visit Johnny at: www.johnnycarter.com.au OR email him at: email@example.com to book one-on-one or group workshops, or Johnny as a speaker at your next event.
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