Funny Relationships Quotes

Funny Relationships Quotes





Feel like a giggle?  Check out these funny relationships quotes.  Share them with your partner and let us know what they think!! 🙂

“Marry an ugly man. Because if he ever leaves you, at least you won’t feel bad since, you know, he’s ugly”  Lorraine Ontong Venturina


 “A married man should forget his mistakes.  No use two people remembering the same thing.” Duane Dewel


“I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don’t want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That’s why I’m constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.” Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me


A relationship is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb.” Unknown


 Assumptions are the termites of relationships”. Henry Winkler


“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”  Henry Youngman


“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”  Agatha Christie


Never reply when you are angry.  Never make a promise when you are happy.  Never make a decision when you are sad.


“Some people are like trees – they take forever to grow up” –


“Friendship is like peeing your pants.  Everyone can see it but only you can feel it.”


“You and I are more than friends, we’re like a really small gang.”


“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.  The order varies for any given year.”  Paul Sweeney


“For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.” Erma Bombeck


“Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word”.
 Janet Periat


 When a man opens the car door for his wife, its either a new car, or a new wife” Prince Philip


“I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.” -Marie Corelli


“Marriage is like a game of cards. Starts with two hearts and a diamond and ends with clubs and a spade.”  Anon



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