Madly in love and thinking about settling down or getting married?. Here are some questions you could discuss with each other before you take the plunge……….
Money/ Finances – Financial problems are a leading cause for divorce in Australia. You need to discuss your financial plans in detail to ensure you both have the same financial goals. Questions you should ask include:
Who will be responsible for financial management and paying the bills?
What are our financial goals and how do we plan to reach them?
What do we do if one person looses their job?
What do you consider a reasonable monthly spend on discretionary items such as clothes, going out to dinner, treats etc.?
Kids – Do you want to have them?
Around what age do you want to start having them?
How many do you want to have?
What would happen if we couldn’t have kids – IVF? Adoption?
Location, Location, Location – What area do you want to live in? Particularly important for couples from different countries.
What suburbs do you want to live in?
How close to the in-laws should we live?
If I had to move away for work what would happen?
Housework – Who is going to do the clothes washing, house cleaning, ironing, cooking, mowing, gardening etc.?
Are you a clean freak or a messy missy?
In Laws – How often should we see yours / my parents and relatives?
What kind of relationship do you see your family having with mine?
When should our families meet?
Religion – What religion are you?
How important is religion in your life?
If we have Children what religion will they be and what role will religion play in their lives?
Together time vs. away time – What activities will we do together?
What activities will we do apart?
How often will you go on boy’s nights/ girl’s nights?
Will we always holiday together?
Dealing with the Kids – Who will be in charge of looking after the kids – feeding, bathing, changing nappies etc.?
What strategies will be use for discipline?
What school do you want them to go to?
Who will take them to their activities – sports, dancing, music etc.?
Will Mum work or be a stay at home mum?
What role will other family play in the lives of our children?
Goals – What are your goals in life?
How can I help you in achieving your goals? You can help me by…
Dealing with conflict – How will be deal with problems when they arise?
What communication channels do we have?
If we experience marital difficulties would you do counseling?
Interests – What are our similarities?
What are our differences?
What common interests do we share?
What hobbies / interests do you have that we don’t share? How much time will be spending apart doing different things?
Expectations- What do you expect of me as a wife / husband / partner?
Challenges- How will we deal with life’s challenges – family deaths, illness, etc.?
What do you expect from me at these times?
Past – Is their anything in your past I should be aware of?
Trust- Do you trust me with your money and your children?
Habits- Do I have any annoying habits? Your annoying habits are….
How can we work on resolving these problems together?
Can you live with these for the rest of your life?
Health- Do you have any health issues I should know about?
Are their any health issues that run in your family?